“See Me”
See me Under-standing Truth-
You and I- We are one
Two souls severed by time
Ascribed- inscribed
Until forever - a time within a time
Rare flower outer space-twisted mine-mime- mind
Lost my love affair- introspection- questioning- questions
Listen close- I know you’re listening
How can I who loves to dance
Keep you from dancing
How can I who hates being possessed
Possess you
How can I a free spirit
Want to cage you
How can- how can I- call this love
Say I love you
How can I who once dared to dream
And dreamed dreams of dreams
And seen visions of what my eyes haven’t seen
Dash your dreams because I don’t agree—
Because they aren’t lofty enough for me?
And how can I ask you to believe
What I have yet to be
And even once I become,
You have the right to be you
While you still love me—
Been searching- now I see
How can I who moves like a stream
Treat you like clay- molding- constraining- tailoring
Your actions—caging- changing
Controlling and manipulating you to be what I want for me
How can I a misfit- want to make you fit me
That is- by definition- a virtual impossibility
The best I can hope for- is that you are simply-extremely
Attracted to me...
To the point- you’d prefer to stay- rather than leave
And if you don’t- go ahead baby…
There is another better ‘Mis-fit’ for me
Find that I…
Don’t want people controlling me
But I want to control those around me
And how can I hate liars
When I can’t keep my commitment to me
Not honoring my word so many times
My ‘Will’ doesn’t even respond - when I speak-
So why should you have hope when - I won’t produce glory
And thus I want you to believe in a (me)- I have yet to be-come
Not realizing I will attract what I am-
Does that then mean- You can’t be the one?
How can I – say
Be committed to me
When I’ve marginally been committed to few things
Good at starting many but rarely fin-ish-ing
Can I blame you for quitting?
Kid procrastination with a ‘Jag’ mentality
Cause I have an “It’ factor – I draw to me
Never striving for excellence - expecting to attract quality
A snake charmer- feelings
You see- make believe
I fulfill dreams
But my work ethic was make it comfortable for me
A casual artist -never raised my talents – good is only average
When great is a tangibility – see me settling
And it cost me tic-tic- time
And by the time I realized the ceiling was the floor
I was addicted to behaviors that frankly feel – good
Addicted to distractions- a hero to my friend, solving- fixing problems
Now my feelings rule me and it’s empty
Young wise one – in love with discerning-
Filled with insight- conversations all night
And I’m good with my tongue
And I Love to dance- a choreographers delight
Rehearsing when I should be Creating-
A novel of pain- an episodic of failures - A saga of drain
De-lighted- eternal- with infinite talent
But I had a fear problem
Reduced to ear-gasms
I had a hearing problem
I’m different- now – I’m different now- new speaking pattern
by Nikki McCauley